The Demons In The Background

I’ve been through hell… many times in my life… That hell was mostly, or perhaps ONLY contained within my own mind… a creation of my own thoughts… nothing to do with the circumstances of my life… everything to do with my response to the circumstances…nothing to do with who I AM… everything to do with WHAT I THOUGHT OF WHO I AM… but HELL is HELL… no matter how it is created… and I’ve felt it often in my life.

I’ve felt worthy of everything for no good reason… and I’ve felt worthless no matter the beauty and love that surrounded me.
I’ve lived as if life… EVERY SECOND of it was a true MIRACLE… and I’ve lived as if every passing second was a burden I could easily do without.

I’ve gone long periods feeling inspired, determined, creative, blessed, grateful, honored, passionate, thankful and connected to the magic of this world and I’ve gone through periods of suffering so dark I couldn’t see anything GOOD in my life.

I’ve been depressed and suicidal. I’ve been in love with life, completely, and fully.

I’ve felt like I can easily shoulder the burden of all of humanity on my strong shoulders without a problem… and I’ve felt powerless to my own inner judgements.

In short I’ve lived the most beautiful highs and the darkest and lowest of lows… all within one life… and all, it seems, in my own mind. But now I know WHY I’ve felt these extremes, and I know HOW to direct my life in whatever direction I CHOOSE.

I know WHY I slip up and I know HOW to get back on track. This is how I explain it, and this is how I KNOW to keep the darkness away… not only keep it away, but live WHATEVER LIFE I CHOOSE TO LIVE.

If I want success – I CAN HAVE IT.
Money – no problem.
Joy, laughter, genuine happiness – easy. Wonder and AWE – know how to get there.

Here’s how it works…

In my life there are demons…. Devils… I don’t know why they are here or how they got here, but they seem to have been around from day one.

Sometimes I am consumed by them, but mostly they are either in the background – like an uneasiness or a reminder.
The demons are:
SELF-DOUBT
SELF-JUDGEMENT
DEPRESSION
FEELING UNWORTHY and INSIGNIFICANT
SERIOUSNESS
BAD HABITS
UNCERTAINTY
FEELING POWERLESS

I know the demons will never leave, they’ll always be there, and I’m at peace with that – but I DO KNOW how to keep them at bay… out of sight and out of mind…. so I can see mostly the beauty, the GREAT in my life.

You see, the demons get closer the WORSE you feel about your life… but they get further away THE BETTER your life feels to you. I keep the demons away by FOCUSING on BETTER THINGS. Consistently. I keep the demons away with the SELF-WORK I put in EVERY SINGLE DAY.

It’s the DAILY PRACTICES I implement that keep the darkness OUT and let the light shine over my life to GROW the areas I want to grow.

Wherever I CHOOSE to shine the light on MY LIFE… I know will GROW the MOST. I can choose to shine the light on GRATITUDE… things that ARE GREAT in my life… and FEEL THAT… or I can shine it on what is NOT there and feel LACK.

When I shine the light on LACK the demons take a step closer. If I continue to focus on LACK, the demons will eventually consume me. The SELF-DOUBT will take over, the DEPRESSION will return along with the feelings of unworthiness and insignificance.

When I shine the light on something positive and powerful… they go more into the background, further away from my life. When I choose to READ something powerful and positive the demons retreat. When I choose to meditate, or pray, or write what I am grateful for… the demons disappear. They can’t stay around the LIGHT… so when I consistently shine that light over areas in my life I WANT TO IMPROVE… my life DOES IMPROVE.

When I SEEK THE GOOD… eventually I find the GOOD. When I find the GOOD I BELIEVE in the GOOD.

I don’t see the demons anymore. They are so far away that they are unnoticeable… but when I feel their presence in the distance I know it is because I have slipped back into bad habits.

I just remind myself WHY I am committed to do this work everyday… BECAUSE it FEELS GOOD… because it makes my life better, and the ripple effect of that is so many more lives will be better.

Every day I commit to SEEK THE GOOD. To consciously look for the good in my life, in others, in the world around me.
I commit to GRATITUDE. Reminding myself what IS GREAT already in my life gives me power and strength nothing on this earth can match.

I commit to READING and LEARNING more in self-development, anything and everything that can improve my SELF.
I commit to meditation and breathing exercises – anything that gives me more EASE and PEACE… which gives me more CLARITY in thought.
I commit to PRESENCE… to take it all in. To notice others. To really see the magic.
I commit to GIVING. Giving of my time and energy to those I feel need my time and energy. There aren’t many better feelings in human life than truly giving to others.
I commit to CHALLENGE myself to GROW. Physically and mentally. I know through tests and challenges I GROW the most and learn the most about myself.
I commit to HONESTY and INTEGRITY. No matter the cost. No matter the consequences. Knowing I can go to the end with my held held high. No regrets.

EVERY THING I DO… EVERY SINGLE DAY makes a difference.

Every day I choose if my future will have more light… or more darkness. I choose that in every moment… because I choose what I do with each moment. I choose how I RESPOND to every challenge. I choose how I plan my day.
I CHOOSE.

I don’t want the demons having an impact on the quality of my life… and I don’t want them around yours either.

Jane Goodall once said:
“What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.”

I want my life to make a positive difference… for myself, but more importantly for me, for EVERYONE I care about. I know I can do that if I remain FOCUSED on the GOOD… focused on the PROCESSES that WORK.

I commit to that work every day.

Shine that light on the areas in your life you want to GROW.