Should We Bring Our Nanny to the Crag?

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Dear Sundog: My wife and I are climbers who now have a baby and a toddler. We’ve started to get back into climbing and take the kids with us to a nearby climbing area. Sometimes we go with other parents so we can share childcare while the adults are climbing. We get a lot of dirty looks and even some comments from others about how our kids are disturbing the peace. But we can’t always coordinate with other families, and of course climbing takes two people, so we can’t climb and watch the kids at the same time. The best solution appears to be bringing our nanny who usually takes the weekends off but could be persuaded to come with us on the weekend, but I’ve never seen or heard of anyone doing this, and I wonder why not. —Kids For Climbing

Dear KFC: Never would Sundog suggest that some enthusiasts give up their passions merely for having procreated. The mores of yesterday in which children stayed in children’s places (usually with the wife) have all been obliterated, especially since the pandemic. People take their kids to bars, fancy bistros, even the goddamn symphony. And I can empathize. Parenting in America these days can be lonely: most of us don’t live with or near extended family that makes up the “village” upbringing that’s been part of humanity for millennia. Parents are reminded that just about everything is dangerous: see the legally required merchandise like bike helmets and car seats that didn’t even exist when we were children, and the risk-of-death labels on everything from plastic bags to peanut butter to five-gallon buckets. A brief flicking through cable news assures us that strangers should not be trusted; people don’t know their neighbors; all of which results in a generation of parents understandably afraid to let their kids out of their sight. So I commend you, KFC, for dragging your kids to the cliffs, because unless you’ve cracked the code of truly creating a community who will watch your kids for you, then the well-known alternative is staying home or at the playground which gets unbearably dull pretty quick.

But I fear you may be taking a good instinct a bit too far. When your kids are old enough to climb, then by all means take them. But when they’re still toddling, they seem a danger to themselves and if they—like 100 percent of small children— make a lot of noise, then they’re also a nuisance and danger to other climbers. If you absolutely must expose the kids to climbing, take them to the gym. As for your babysitter idea: if you’re fortunate enough to be able to afford a trustworthy nanny for a whole day, then by all means hire them—and leave them at home with the kids. Who knows, maybe mom and dad will find a place for a quick roadside bivy in transit to the crag.

To review, here are some places that are good to take toddlers and babies:

• Ski resorts
• Cross country skiing
• Floating class-I rivers
• Climbing gyms
• Any outdoor concert, regardless of genre

And here are the places you should not take them:

• BASE jumping
• The opera
• Congressional hearings
• Backcountry skiing
• The crag

And just to show that Sundog isn’t just some kid-hating grouch who wants them out of my sight, let me weigh in on a hotly-debated question that you didn’t ask: should I bring my kid to the brewery?

I give a whole-hearted yes. Consider that the brewery may provide the deepest sense of contentedness the parent has experienced since the birth of the child. The parent is drinking alcohol. The child is…somewhere, out of eyesight, out of earshot. The brewery has generously provided a fenced outdoor enclosure, perhaps even toy bulldozers and a sandbox, harmless banjo players picking tunes that cause the child to dance about and don’t include obvious obscenity or ideations of violence. Ya gotta just let Dad gulp down his mosaic hop IPA or whatever. Those things are strong. They make him feel good. This is how they do it in Europe, I heard that somewhere. Celebrate.

The issue with amplified music is more akin to overly bright lights beaming into my eyes or trash left behind. These are impacts that dramatically impact mine and others experience and dramatically changes the environment. No one has that privilege without group/community consent. There are several alternatives to listen to electronic music without forcing me to participate without my consent. It’s a clear invasion of privacy and disregard for the other.

♦

The solitude of the landscape exists for all of us, not him, not any single specific person.
Second, we all have freedoms, but those freedoms are restricted when their exercise harms others. The right for me to wave my arms ends before I hit someone’s face, right?
People who blast their music are destroying the silence for everyone. They are doing temporary damage to the environment. They make it difficult or impossible for others to enjoy the experience they came for.

♦

Has it occurred to you or the person who asked this question, that perhaps hikers were blasting music because they were in an area inhabited by bears or other animals? Blasting music is a great way to make your presence known to others who live there. especially other animals who will tear you apart when surprised or when they feel threatened.

Got a question of your own? Send it to sundogsalmanac@hotmail.com